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Diva & Co.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

I Got A Not So Secret Secret Admirer Reply!

Woo hoo!

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Lets Get Political

This is as political as I'm gonna get about the whole war in Iraq: I support our troops and Im sick of all you "Im protesting becuase its trendy to protest and it'll give me another opportunity to talk about myself" hippie pacifist fucks who don't support it. Get over yoruselves!

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

A Not So Secret Secret Admirer Note


Dolphins: Not Just For Tuna Salad Anymore...

The United States Navy has a new weapon in the War on Terror in Iraq: Dolphins!

Apparently these aquatic mammals are being used to detect land mines under the water with their sonar abilities and point out the mines to soldiers which allows them to avoid or possibly diffuse them. This leads me to wonder: are the famous dolphins going to be protected or sent to work? I mean dolphins like "Snowflake" the Miami Dolphin's Mascot and star of critically acclaimed Ace Ventura Pet Detective and Flipper who had a TV series AND a movie are already trained to do complicated stunts. Wouldn't it make sense that these guys should need less training to be helpful...or will their "celeb" status protect them and keep them safe from a possible dolphin draft. I think its left to be seen.

Upon discussion of this topic with my coworker, Twan Money, I was presented with the idea of what if a dolphin misses a mine? "I love bumble bee, bumble bee tuna!"

And on a completely random note (still keeping with maritime activity and mammals though), I give you: Twiggy, the waterskiing squirrel! coming soon to a boat show near you!

Monday, March 24, 2003

It Never Fails That...
I buy something really cool and somehow misplace it within 24 hours, rendering said cool purchase useless.

I finally let my guard down again and some bunghole has to go remind me of why I keep my guard up in the first place. Boys are poop!

I put on my favorite pair of underware and surprise: I get my period which somehow was mysteriously late.

I open the hallway closet and no matter how neatly the sheets are folded one always falls on my head.

I start a school semester excited about my classes and end up withdrawing from half of them before the semester is through.

The person you WANT to call never does and the person you DON'T WANT always does.

One of my six cats will throwup in the house, and the moment I take my shoes off I'll step in it.

My mom will cook the "good dinners" on nights when I have school early and won't be here for 'em.

Guess Who's Back...

I know you all missed me TERRIBLY whilst I was out sailing the high seas and drinking until I could hear my liver scream, but fear not, kiddies...the diva is back! (Please, stop your groaning, I can hear you!)

I haven't really learned much, but I will share a few memories & ideas with you:
- The Dominican Republic is a big, fat garbage dump. If you can avoid going there, please do so at all cost.
- Celebrity cruise lines is secret code for "Kevorkian Cruise Lines"...old people who are on their last legs literally vacation there, but some of them have hot grandchildren and children.
- Irving needs to shave down there...NOT ANOTHER WORD!
- Indonesians make the BEST martinis and know the coolest magic tricks: SUDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
- Dana the bartender thinks I'm a big drunk, but loves me for it anyway.
- Jon is embarassed to be fat and hairy when we were surrounded by 600 lb. gorilla men who wore permanent sweaters. Please tell him how cute he is!
- More Jon related news: Jon's back is "crap"...at least thats what the masseuse sitting on his head told him.
- Barbados has a rockin' beach with a bad-assed beach cat!
- St. Thomas has a cool-assed lil bar with a Jack Russell Terrier Bar dog! I took his picture!
- St. Thomas also has a Sanrio store! I loved all the great lil hello kitty, my melody and little twin stars trinkets!!
- I missed my friends terribly on this cruise and I've decided at some point, we all must cruise together!
- Some old people can be cool, especially guys from Grosse Pointe who look like Dustin Hoffman.
Thats all for now...embarassing photos coming later in the week!

Friday, March 14, 2003

Oh no you DIH-INT!

Yes, yes, thankfully someone did! The great folks over at Time Life Video have gotten down with their urban clientele and they proudly present the :

You So Crazy! Collection
This collection features great titles like: Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker, Martin Lawrence: You So Crazy, The Best of The Chris Rock Show, Chris Rock: Bring the Pain, Eddie Murphy: Raw, Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip, Richard Pryor, Here and Now, Richard Pryor Live!, Richard Pryor: Live & Smokin', How To Be A Player, Friday, Booty Call, Mo' Money, Eddie Murphy: Boomerang, House Party, I'm Gonna Git U Sucka, Phat Beach, I Got The Hook-Up and Master P's...I Got the Hook-Up! Comedy Jam. The description of this was too much too pass up for a scant $19.95 I get: 90 minutes of in your face laughter! A special bonus from Master P, Snoop Dog, and the No Limit Soldiers. and more! AND THE NO LIMIT SOLDIERS! Does it get any better? I sumbit that it does not. All I wanna know is when is CB-4 comin' out and how do I get the number of one of those fly ass time life hoochies to hook me up with this video, son!

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Oh just bring the shame already!

This weeks gay lyrics come from Third Eye Blind. This song has been stuck in my head for 2 days.

"Motorcycle Drive-By"
Summer time and the wind is blowing
Outside in lower Chelsea
And I don't know
What I'm doing in this city
The sun is always in my eyes
It crashes through the windows
And I'm sleeping on the couch
When I came to visit you
That's when I knew
That I could never have you
I knew that before you did
Still I'm the one who's stupid
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I've never been so alone
And I've never been so alive
Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by
The cigarette ash it flies in your eyes
And you don't mind
You smile
And say the world it doesn't fit with you
I don't believe you
You're so serene
Careening through the universe
Your axis on a tilt
You're guiltless and free
I hope you take a piece of me with you
And there are things I would like to do
That you don't believe in
I would like to build something
But you'll never see it happen
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I've never been so alone
And I've, I've never been so alive
Where's the soul?
I wanna know
New York City's evil
The surface is everything
But I could never do that
Someone would see through that
And this is the last time
We'll be friends again
And I'll get over you
You won't know who I am
And there's this burning
Just like there's always been
I've never been so alone
And I've, I've never been so alive
So alive
I go home to the coast
It starts to rain
I paddle out on the water
Alone
Taste the salt
And taste the pain
I'm not thinking of you again
Summer dies and swells rise
The sun goes down in my eyes
See this golden wave
Darkly coming
To take me
home
And I've never been so alone
And I've never been so alive

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Yeah...

Things have a really funny way of working themselves out. For the last few weeks I've been in a serious funk. Last night I got phone calls from a few of my old high school friends who are home from spring break. People I thought I'd completely lost contact with, but everything was just the same as it'd always been. We've made plans to hang out and go get coffee or check out a movie or maybe even hit up a bar. Hopefully it should be a good time.

There are still some things that aren't sitting right in my life, but I guess that will all have to wait for wednesday when I go to my new shrink. I've also realized that I have an extremely dark side to me. This might seem unusual as most everyone knows of my affinity for bubbles, afroken and piglet, but this other side scares the crap out of me. I have very detailed and morbid thoughts, some are extremely violent against myself, some against other people. Thats not to say I have dreams of killing myself or hurting myself, but in my dreams many people are trying to chase and kill me. I can feel it if I get shot, punched or stabbed. They're so real, its scary!

I really don't want to be at work this week, like somehow thats any different than any other week, lol. I have a bunch of stuff I need to get done, but I'd just love to be napping. That could be really great. Maybe I could find someone to build me a bed under my desk like in that Seinfeld episode. Then I could call in a bomb threat and I could sleep peacefully or sneak out the back door. Working for a living is silly. I have to find a billionaire old man to marry like Anna Nicole "Anna, anna, fabulous anna, anna nicole she so outrageous!" (Yes, I'm the person who keeps watching crap like this so networks will put more of it on, sue me!)

Monday, March 10, 2003

Please pretend to listen

I've really got nothing good to blog about, but I'm insanely bored at work so I'll recap my weekend:
Friday
Lewis Black show. He K I L L E D! Quite possibly the funniest man alive!
Dinner at Stamford Downtown Brew Club - uber yummy!

Saturday
Shopped at my new favorite store: Chez Target with my mommy. Bought all my clothes for my cruise. (Drop me a feed back if you want any happy, duty free goodies)
Later that nite fell quite ill and hid under the blankets on the couch watching Trading Spaces. Gotta love frank!

Sunday
Girlie manicure with my mommy
Yummy breakfast
Shopping at CVS for last minute cruise stuffs
Typing homework (B O R I N G)
Tanning
Napping

Tres uneventful, but next week will RAWK!

Thursday, March 06, 2003

A Penny Saved...

An 89 year old Plymouth, Minnesota man donated $75,000 worth of loose change on Sunday as he was passed the collection plate at church. Delivery took 3 pickup trucks and 12 men and while the total value of the coins is yet to be determined, those counting have estimated the ciruclated coins alone are worth $41,000.

Who said it doesn't pay to be a packrat? Maybe my grandmother is right and all that crap she's saving WILL be worth something. Keep your fingers crossed.

Don't Let The Man Get Ya Down

Keyboard Yoga easy to do at your desk to de-stress a little so you don't go postal on your coworkers.

Thanks to Liz for this link

Hello, my name is Gwen, and I'm an addict


Though some wierd twist of events I stumbled upon this website: Lip Balm Anonymous for those of us who are addicted to lipbalm. But Gwen, lip balm isn't addictive...I'm certainly not an addict. Oh yeah? Why dont you take the LBA Addiction Self Assessment Test. I answered "yes" to over half the questions on this page. I'm in too deep.

In my room I have a 15x7x7 drawer packed to the BRIM of the stuff. I would say there are prolly close to 100 pots, sticks, tubes, deisgner and generic. You name it, I have it. Perhaps my most prized posessions are the 2 lip balm rings I got at old navy. They're fashionable and function...and no, they dont look like lil animals.

Some packages are glittery, some chapsticks are glittery, some a fruity, sweet, waxy, glossy...I love them all. My favorites are probably the Bonne Bell Lip Smackers in Martian Marshmallow, Red Licorice Launch, Berry Jelly Donut and Cotton Candy. There are some great pots too, The Gap made some really great flavors which came in large flat pots...my favorites there are pepermint stick and pink lemonade. I have my MAC LipGlass for my Sex And the City nights out, when I need to be uber-glammy Gwen.

I have the holiday lip glosses from Old Navy...Easter shaped like a chick and a flower, Valentines day pots shaped like a heart, the winter pot shaped like a Christmas Tree and a snowflake...all my little precious. :::insert Gollum impression here:::

Between my lip gloss and hand cream application here at work, I probably only manage to do 15 minutes of actual work a day, but its not interfering with my life, I swear. And I DEFINITLEY didn't pick a chapstick up off the floor of Red Rocks West and continue to use it becuase it would be a "waste" if I didn't. What kind of freak would do that? Not me I tell you, I don't HAVE to use it...I don't NEED it. :::Pulls out stick and feverishly applies it::: NO YOU CAN'T use it. It's mine, get away!!

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

P r o m o W h o r e

Ladies and gentlemen...I give you RichStillwell.com. He's a good friend and an excellent photographer. Please go enjoy his work.

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

Piss and Moan


I haven't bitched in almost 24 hours, I think I'll explode if I don't so heres a list of stuff I hate/gets on my nerves/aggrivates me:
the gym
stupid people
most coworkers
the smelly guy at work
people in my classes at school
gross food that stinks up the office
people who feel its their right to tell you waht to do
stupid tv shows
work
mindless meetings for no reason
fridays that aren't paydays
people who just talk at you like you're listening
people who hover by my computer so I have to do work
the IT department
people who are on the phone 24/7
people who are indecisive
mostly just people, I guess

I don't even have PMS this week, but I sound like I'm totally "OTR" (add to the above list the expression OTR)

Monday, March 03, 2003

I found my Get Up Kids CD's hidden in Travis. I think they're up they're tied for my favorite band with the Refreshments. God, I love them.

"Forgive & Forget"
I think I've waited long enough
Our world was once forget-me-nots
And now I wait another year.
Now I wait another year.
I need you here.
I think I've heard this one before,
But it's not you walking through my door.
And now I wait another year.
Now I wait another year.
I need you here.
I need you here.
I need you here.
I need you here.
Don't bother it now,
Let sleepers lie.
Bygones have all gone by.
Forgot what we fought for,
Hard as I might,
Don't have the will to fight.
Forgive & forget
Whatever was said
Because we're growing up By the hour.
I never would let
It go on like it did:
All good things
Have endings.
Forgive & forget
Whatever was said
All good things
Have endings.
Don't bother it now,
Let sleepers lie.
Bygones have
all gone by.
Forgot what we fought for,
Hard as I might,
Don't have the will to fight.
Don't bother it now,
Let sleepers lie.
Bygones have all gone by.
Forgot what we fought for,
Hard as I might,
Don't have the will to fight.


If these are wrong, F-U...I'm too lazy to type it all out...I just ganked 'em from someone else's website

I have a new car, and some cool new diva art (big ups to patches!) other than that I pretty much detest my life and have nothing to write about. Also, work is busy. Enjoy the diva art: