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Diva & Co.

Monday, June 30, 2003

Crush Update

I am SO over 2 of my crushes. One of them I'm not sure I even want to be friends with anymore becuase he's such a dickface who thinks he's hot shit and better looking than he actually is. (Go back to your wifey, pasty boy!) One more still hangs in the balance and that crush is like not as strong as it was, men are so last week.

Man it feels good to be a gangsta.

Post Birthday Hangover

I want to thank everyone who helped me celebrate my birthday this weekend as well as those of you who helped take care of me this weekend very late night on Saturday night, you know who you are and you are my dearest and best friends, although I was nothing but rotten to you and for that, I'm sorry.

I would like to share with you all a very important lesson that I learned this past weekend. Friday night while out at Strike, Long Island for my birthday party with my "internet friends" I passed a comment about spending my actual birthday with my "real friends" (meaning the ones I'd known in the flesh my entire life). However, it turns out that my internet freinds are better friends to me than my real ones and I want to thank you all for one of the best birthdays I've spent in a long time. Similarly, I want to thank you all for the thoughtful presents and the company on Friday night. It was a great time, honestly. (c:

I'm glad birthdays come but once a year, because I don't think I could handle the ups and downs of this past Saturday all the time.

To one person in particular: thank you for being you, thank you for being there from the highest of my highs to the lowest lows, and helping me pick up the pieces even after I've twisted the knife into your back. One of these days I'll be a better person, I promise, I hope you're around to see it. I love you more than you know...you know who you are (c:

Friday, June 27, 2003


I just stumbled up on the blog of the Gotham Diva and I really like it. (Not just for the sake of our similar monikers) You should check her out.

Cause Don Labia Said So:

Happy Deathday!
Your name:Dynamite Diva
You will die on:Sunday, November 6, 2022
You will die of:Food Poisoning
Created by Quill


musings of a dynamite diva
Magic Number16
PersonalityThe Glass Is Half-Empty
TemperamentSweet Natured
SexualJust Say No
Likely To WinA Swimming Badge
Me - In A WordCompassionate
Brought to you by MemeJack

A Birthday Edition of Friday Five

i) I am a Cancer and I fit every description thereof. My next tattoo will be my astrological sign.

ii) For the first time in 3 years I am having a birthday party and I have awesome loving friends with which to celebrate. Similarly I do not have a boyfriend on my birthday for the first time in 6 years so maybe this is why I am actually gonna enjoy my birthday.

iii) 20 years ago on my birthday the Mianus River Bridge collapsed at 2 a.m.

iv) I share my birthday with the likes of Gilda Radner, Mel Brooks, Pat Morita (yes, Mister Miyagi!), John Elway, Henry VIII, John Dillinger and John Cusak.

v) Every year for my birthday I wish for a good boyfreind. This year I've decided to stop wishing and hoping and have decided to wish for a year of fun times with my friends.

Oh yeah and since I forgot yesterdays thursday eyecandy, I'll give it to you today. Its someone close to my heart and I know Aidan is only a character he plays, but he's still sexy....John Corbett:

Thursday, June 26, 2003


As it turns out, Cheeks is not the only one to injure his crotch this summer. Either through running and weights at my gym or my pilates work out I have seriously pulled a muscle in my groin....AND IT REALLY FUCKING HURTS! I can't wear pants, I can't really walk, I can't sit indian style and stairs are MISERABLE to navigate. Owies! (Will someone come massage it for me?)

Furthermore, I finally got around to watching the first episode of the new season of Sex and the City last night. It was heart wrenching, at least to me, becuase well...Aidian, who in my mind is the perfect man and also represents the one that got away within my own life, is MARRIED and has a BABY. I thought I was going to puke when I saw it, literally. It was such a shot to the gut. Its amazing how a show like that can make you want to slit your wrists because it can so painfully and acurately dredge up all those emotions about failed relationships that you hide from everyone else. Definitley an A+, very good, girlie show.

2 more days to my birthday! Yay yay yay! (I know, I know you're ALL sick of hearing about it, but fear not the insanity will be over shortly!)

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

God I'm A Whore

For anyone looking for a last minute birthday present idea for me: here again is my Amazon.Com Wishlist.

That was *SO* shameless.


Happy Birthday Kevynn Malone!

I ran 1/2 mile yesterday and while this isn't some incredible feat it was for me. I am quite proud of myself and I probably will go back and do it again today. I am also taking an aqua fitness class at the gym.

This Friday is the birthday suaree for Anna and I, thrown by our fearless leader, Missy. Woot! Also, my birthday is on Saturday...that is three days away! Yay! I am so excited becuase for the first time in 3 years I get to have a birthday party! Yay yay yay!

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Attention All Men:

There have never been more important lessons for you to learn about the bedroom than those contained here. Especially for the sake of my own chach 'endless love'. Please, for the love of all things good and holy, read these and take them to heart.


Congratulations to Maria for graduating high school! Yay!

I'm So Proud of...Me!

Yesterday I went back to the gym for the first time and I rocked ass! I did a seriously brisk walk for 1 mile, I did my whole old weight regimen AND I swam 1/2 a mile. When I came home I chatted online for a bit and then did my 20 minute pilates work out as well! Honestly I am feeling G R E A T today and hopefully I'll be looking slimmer before I know it. They gym was hard work, but I know it will be worth it. I'm just hoping I actually stick with it this time. The bane of my existance is the fact that I am quite possibly the laziest human being alive. Ask Jon, he used to be my gym partner.

This is gonna be my year though, finally at 22 I WILL get my act together. I've started reading a book at least one a week, I've started working out again, I'm being more social, my room has been clean for over 2 weeks, I will get out of debt and I will move out on my own. Its a full plate, but deep down I know I can do it. I guess the only way to combat laziness is to get up off your couch potato ass and do something!

4 more days til my birthday and little did I know that Mister Malone is also a June baby...his birthday is tomorrow.

All this energy and I'm not even 1/4 through my coffee....scary.

Monday, June 23, 2003

First and Foremost...

Happy Birthday, Anna!

You are one of my newest and bestest dear girlies and I'm glad we've gotten to be friends. Its a new year for us starting now and we're gonna make 'em all regret the crap they've started. I wish you nothing but rainbows and sunshine and cupcakes today (cause I'm *that* girlie!), I hope your birthday rocks your socks off and finally makes you smile! Hugs & Smooches!

Friday, June 20, 2003

So Bored...

The printer is broken at work, so I literally have nothing more I can do for the day. Its so bad that our own IT department can't fix it, we had to put in a call to Hewlett Packard. Bleh. It will never get fixed. Motherbitches, please just let me go home!

The Friday Five

i) If you wouldn't say something to someone's face, you shouldn't say it in your blog or you'll catch all holy hell.

ii) Boys with lip rings may not be all knowing, but they are certainly good for making you forget your troubles for a while. (c:

iii) Patches cards make anyone smile!

iv) When you've had enough of stupid men and are totally aggrivated the cure is a night out at bar9 with all your girls and some yummy appletinis.

v) It takes a long time to get mail from Hong Kong, especially when you're waiting for your birthday present to yourself to arrive. (Btw: 8 days til my birthday, and 3 til Anna's!)

Thursday, June 19, 2003


About the Arlene Grocery show, I can't make it, so I hope anyone planning on going gets a chance to this before they show up! Sorry party peoples...

Thursday Eye Candy

These are the hottie rocker boys of November Kills. Go love them for their sexy, rockstar goodness. Garrrrrow, baby!

Oh yeah and not shown in this picture is hottie superfly Frank:

Tuesday, June 17, 2003


I think my estrogen level is scaring people away. I haven't had a period in almost 2 years and now I've started to get it again and my emotions are hair-trigger and lean towards hating all things with XY chromasome makeup. My apologies, I don't really hate ALL boys, I just want some good old fashioned lovin' (and not necessarily even in the naughty way). I think I need a girlie night out to drown my sorrows and share my triumphs over an apple martini or two with Anna, Missy, and Lisa.

Apparently blogger comes complete with censors now.

Monday, June 16, 2003

Online journal is a farse.

New Addition

Everyone please welcome Maria to the blogging world. She's the cat's pyjamas.

Not A Gold Digger

I'm not a gold digger, but I'm sick of being asked "waht do you want for your birthday?" ...so here it is:
My Amazon.Com Wishlist
(Mock me if you wish....there is a lot of corny stuff on it, but I love it all.

For the Record

I'm saying it now Friendster is *SO* two weeks ago. I'm over it.

This is why Patches Rules!

Click me for awesome patches goodness!

Another Overly Dramatic Weekend

When you feel the need to get hopped up on coke and beat your chick (your chick who happens to be my best fucking friend) don't think I'm gonna let you get away with it. Furthermore, don't think I'm not gonna call you out for being a scumbag and a pussy. Why don't you try and get custody of your fucking pigfaced child before you try and lure another potential wife into the mix who will probably just leave you because of your "temper" like the first one. If you have to beat a girl to feel better about yourself, espeically a girl you supposedly love, you're not a man, not even being able to bench 295 lbs. can make you more manly.

If you put your hands on me again or even so much as look at me the wrong way, I will blow up your spot, and you WILL go to jail. I already sent one guy there, so believe me I'm not scared of you, especially since the only emotion I'm tied to you by is hate. You make me sick. Go steal some more money from my friend and put it up your nose you disgusting piece of shit!

On the happier side of this weekend. I have the best mommy and friends in the universe. Thank you to Tazz & Anna for helping me realize I'm doing the right thing here. You guys are too good to me (c: My mom and I went all over the place this weekend: awesome Super Stop & Shop, Stew Leonards, Walmart, manicures & pedicures and a lunchy all to ourselves. <3 her, she's the bestest (god I'm a nerd)...hehehe.

And finally here comes the updated Birthday Countdown!
One week til Anna's Birthday! Wooooo!
12 Days til my birthday. Wooo²!
Oh yeah, Anna and I expect presents. We're not gold diggers or anything, but we're cute and we've given you some lovely bloggy goodness (c:

Friday, June 13, 2003

Rainy Friday

"And I'm hanging on your words/
Like I always used to do./
The words they use so lightly/
I only feel for you."

The Friday Five

i) When you yell anti-American sentiments aloud and then try to offer Anna a donut, she'll tell you "I don't want your hate pastries!" (God, that girl is funny!)

ii) Tazz gets confuddled when he gets into his car and hears "La Cucaracha".

iii) There are more animals outside of the Bronx Zoo, than there actually are inside (Can I get a ringing of the inapropriate bell??) Furthermore the Cocanya rat is a new breed that Anna and I have renamed, as its old nomenclature (the "Mouse-like Hamster") was just half assed.

iv) I have a H U G E crush on someone who is a smartass and knows it 'cause he reads my blog, lol.

v) More people need to BUY Digger Phelps...they're good, you wont regret it!

**Management apologizes for the shittiness of this Friday Five, but well, this wasn't a really educational week. My bad!**

Thursday, June 12, 2003


Dear Joe,
You are 10 pounds of monkey shit in a 5 pound bag. Fuck off and stop calling me!



"I'm shaking at your touch/
I like you way too much/
My baby I believe I'm falling for you."


That is Deez, the bassist from trace element. He is REALLYFUCKINGHOT, I used to date him, now we're friends.

Happy Birthday Boz

16 days til my birthday, 11 days til Anna's birthday.

More people need to go to Tazz's Blog and leave comments.

And finally, more people need to listen to Digger Phelps.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Plug Your Friend's Band!

Patches gave me the good idea to plug my friends band so ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

Trace Element

They're hot, they're excellent musicians, nice as hell and write awesome songs like Act II, Scene I Also, come see them at Arlene Grocery in lovely New York, NY on Thursday June 19, 2003 at 9pm...be there or be square. TRACE ELEMENT WOOOO!


"Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they're O.K.
If they don't give me proper credit
I just walk away

They can beg and they can plead
But they can't see the light, that's right
'Cause the boy with the cold hard cash
Is always Mister Right, 'cause we are

Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Some boys romance, some boys slow dance
That's all right with me
If they can't raise my interest then I
Have to let them be

Some boys try and some boys lie but
I don't let them play
Only boys who save their pennies
Make my rainy day, 'cause they are
Living in a material world [material]
Living in a material world

Boys may come and boys may go
And that's all right you see
Experience has made me rich
And now they're after me, 'cause everybody's
Living in a material world [material]
Living in a material world"

Madonna always makes me smile. I love this song, it just came on at work.

Good For A Laugh

Last night, the infamous dirtbag, Joe, called me whilst I was out at Sidewalk Cafe with my friends. I harassed him, mocked him and basically belittled him to no end. I asked him if he was itchy, or if he had any new rashes. He didn't like that too much. Finally at like 12:30a.m. he calls back and the following conversation ensues:
J: "So, uh are you seeing anyone?"
Me: "Maybe...are YOU seeing anyone?"
J: "Yeah I'm talking to someone" (for anyone outside of the North East area not hip to the lingo "talking to" means making out and hooking up, but no official commitment as of yet, but generally you don't "talk" to more than one person at a time). "So, I was wondering if maybe we could hang out this weekend...you know, I could come up to CT or something"
Me: "Well I'm busy Friday and Saturday"
J: "What about sunday?"
Me: "I dunno, I usually sleep then, maybe another time."
J: "Well I really miss you, Gwen. I can't stop thinking of you and I REALLY want to see you."
Me: "Well what would this chick you're talking to think of that?"
J: "I'm not talking to anyone...its no big deal we're not together. God, why do you have to be so angry and standoffish all the time"
Me: "Thats another lie right there! Its too late for this. I'm sick of being lied to and clowned. Bye." (click)

A little while later I get a text message that reads as follows "GWEN I MISS YOU DON'T BE ANGRY". He's such a fucking bo-tard scumbag. I think I might change my cell number so I don't have to listen to his lies anymore. Oooh maybe for my birthday someone will buy me a pitchfork & shovel to get rid of some of the bullshit in my life. That would be swell. I'm not angry though, I'm still happy, cheery, shiny Gwen. Yay yay yay!

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Aggrivation Is...

...having a H U G E crush on someone who has a girlfriend and not being CLOSE to the 1 month mark of a 2 month I swear off boys phase. Rar indeed!

What Did I Learn Today?

I learned that having never run a day in your life and having just quit smoking a lil while ago, that it is absolutely, unequivocally unrealistic to expect to RUN 1 mile in the morning. However I do have a lovely neighborhood to take a brisk walk in, so I did that. Hopefully I will build up to running. Any runners have any suggestions on how to "build up to it"?

Monday, June 09, 2003

Weekend Update

Oh my freaking God, I don't even know where to start with this weekend. I was awake from 6:15 am Friday morning until 3:00am Sunday Morning. Needless to say none of these recaps apply to Sunday as I was asleep the entire day but here is what I can remember from this weekend:

Porn star Cali Xavier lives in my town, right near me.
I met someone who stabbed someone and will be doing a stint in jail for 2+ yrs because of it...great...
The weekend was filled with many ex-boyfriends and much cock blocking.
You can't really call it a cock block when the offending c-blocker is the person's significant other.
Quoth the T$: "Froddo Baggins is all over the fucking place" (I don't get it either)
The Bronx Zoo rocks your socks off even when its really wet.
Elephants really do need to be scratched.
Jon, Gwen,Anna, & Sheepster in the Skyfari = one massive neurotic panic attack.
Stew Leonards is the Happiest Place on earth.
Meow TV is quality feline entertainment.
It is entirely possible for 2 smallish girls under 5'4, to consume an entire bottle of Courvassier in one night.
Its not clam shell or crab shanti: its the fucking crab shell!
The skank factor was in full effect.
Stan has not accepted his undeniable likeness to craig kilbourn or the hotness it entails.
The Mouse-Like Hamster has been renamed the Cocanya Rat by Anna and I.
I think for now thats all I can remember, but it was good times...good times indeed. I'll add more as it comes to me.
**I just remembered: the Zoo Crew discovered that "w00t", while acceptable to say in an IM conversation is not acceptable to utter outloud in real life, cause it just sounds silly.**

Friday, June 06, 2003


Wow, its amazing how some people breeze back into your life and can leave you feeling so high, so happy, just so...gosh I dunno, but the mere thought of them can leave a smile on your face all day long and just bring you way back to a time that you thought was gone. Those kind of days, those kind of people, those kinds of convos are what remind you of what its really like to be happy. Thank you. I needed that (c:

Depressing, But Interesting

This is a BMI (body mass index) calculator. It tells me that I am over weight. In order for me to be in the proper range I need to lose 30 pounds. 30 fucking pounds. Jesus. Okay now Im REALLY getting in shape becasue THIS is depressing. Ugh. Need a motivator to start that work out go here. Teetering on the edge of self esteem issues DON'T go here. Ugh.

The Friday Five

Its that time of the week again, time for the Friday five:

1) Some people (not just the X-Factor) have no concept of hygene or the common courtesy to think other people might care that they have to smell your reeking ass. (Sales guys at EB in the Pallisades center, I'm looking in your direction).

2) Picking on New Jersey leads to a slew of commenty backlash. Apologies are in order to Lisa, Michael (Not Mike), Petrina and Patches. It was just a good natured ribbing. I mean look at me I'm from CT (Picture Wayne & Garth in front of a CT post card saying "we're in CT...it uh...connects better states").

3) Even if you're a girl who generally sucks at video games, its possible for one of them to take over your life. ::cough::Zelda::cough::

4) Tis the season to hit up the zoo. Not only am I taking a field trip with all of my fine feathered blogging friends to the Bronx zoo tomorrow, but Mo also had a zoo adventure this week. She rules, go read her blog, damn it!

5) June babies are the best. Anna's b-day is in 17 days, Boz's bday is in 6 days, and my divalicious day of birth is in 22 days. Put on your party hats, mother bitches. We expect blog mention on our big days!

Thursday, June 05, 2003

We're net working with my fabulous girlies, Missy & Anna, over at Rf Babies and we now have use of their tagboard. YOu can tag here and it will go up here, there to Anna's Blog & Doogie's Blog. All your blogs are belong to us.

Weird Day

Its 11:50 a.m. eastern standard time and I have just arrived at work. I should have been here at 8 am, but just before 6 there was an explosion and a fire underground in a manhole which knocked out the power to over half of my town. I plan on doing nothing in the four hours that I am here. Its very weird to be with out power. We had no phone, no hot water, no tv, no computer, no internet, no videogames, no radio, nothing. We were entirely shut off from the world. It was so crazy.

Power is back on and I'm here at work again, but no one is here. We might get a REALLY cute puppy though. I'll keep y'all posted about that. Eeeeeee!

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

Now Hear This!

This is Fuzzy's blog. Go to it, read it, love it, leave her some awesome comments that tell her how fucking cool she is. She's witty, cool, good at cheering you up and I hear she makes wicked good brownies. She'll rock your socks off and leave you wanting more. Go forth and love her, damn it....I mean it, SCOOT!

No More Zelda Before Bed

I can't continue playing Zelda before my bedtime. Last night I had a series of bizzare dreams based on various facets of the Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker game. In one part I was swimming in the ocean and by doing different whistles I could control the direction that the waves would push me. I was trying to get to shore, but I had to do all these random tasks before the native peoples (who turned out to be Japanese) would let me ashore.

The dream continued further when I acutally did come ashore I had to wander around Tokyo collecting various items. There was a black boy around my age there who smelled really nice. I found out it was becuase he kept cocobutter from the The Body Shop on hand and was constantly applying it so he didn't get ashy. Then Jeff was there as well as Patrick and Arelis and we were looking for a place to go smoke the pot I found. We went to some wierd kareoke bar/restaurant where all of my personal belongings were waiting in a suitcase. The matire'd approached us asking if we liked Mrs. Robinson...Patrick said yes and they brought us a tv with this wierd kareoke song playing and the video was of some little old lady in a house coat scaling the side of a mountain. WTF?

I woke up and went back to sleep. I was in the Food Emporium thats by my job and I found my flute in the milk section, so I started playing various little songs on it. One of them was a water song and all of thse water falls started falling from the ceiling and the lighting went all blue and all these hella cool fountains showed up. I swam around some more, it was very refreshing. Mary W. the auditor from my job was there and she was thanking me for allowing her to have reasonably priced hydrotherapy, so she gave me a small orb, I took the orb to this really elaborate fountain in the back and the water turned to strawberry milk....I floated around and drank it for a bit. Then I woke up. Alas heres a quick math lesson for you PaxilCr + Zelda + bedtime = seriously wacky assed dreams.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Random Thoughts

1. Come play with me on Friendster...I need to have the most friends!

2. I bought a game cube over the weekend as an early birthday present for my divalicious self. Its purple and it came with 2 free games. Super Mario Sunshine and Legend of Zelda the Wind Waker. Wind waker is crack. I have done nothing but play that game since I got it. I'm not very far, but its so addictive. I spent 5 solid hours playing it last night....what the hell!??! Oh yeah and its purple which is pretty!

3. I am in a REALLY great mood today. I'm not sure why, but I am....so I'm giving you all a gigantic CYBER HUG & KISS! ((Everyone!)) *c: (MwAh!)

Monday, June 02, 2003

The Virus Is Spreading

Please welcome our newest member to the blogging community Doogie! He's one sexy mofo, smart as all hell and I am HONORED to call him a member of my circle of freinds. Doogie doogie he's our man, if he can't do it....uh....well you like get the point!

Woo Hoo!

I'm angel of the month for June 2003! Thanks Bozley!

Oh yeah and big ups to all my fellow June Babies Boz & Anna. 26 days til my birthday! Start shopping now! Wooooo!