For All My Gouhls & Boos



I expect pictures of EVERYONE's costumes to be up on their blogs in the next few days!

Lets Go P -Diddy!

I love the marathon and this P-diddy thing is exciting lets go Diddy

I ALMOST FORGOT!



Happy birthday, TJ, I didn't make the graphic, but I google image searched it. Hope its a great one and that you like K's present!

FREE STUFF

You all need to be listening to Maroon5, Gavin DeGraw, Jason Mraz, The Refreshments, Trace Element, Kara's Flowers, Highfall and a myriad of other good music. If any of you are open to the challenge of expanding your musical horizons, you need to send me your mailing address and I will burn you and mail you a mix cd of "STUFF YOU SHOULD KNOW" free of charge. You don't even have to send me a cd back, just play the cd for others if you like it. Any takers can email me with their info.

Best News Story of the day So Far

"Rupert Murdoch's Fox News Channel threatened to sue the makers of 'The Simpsons' over a parody of the channel's right-wing political stance, the creator of the hit US television show has claimed. According to [Matt] Groening, Fox took exception toward a Simpsons' version of the Fox News rolling news ticker which parodied the channel's anti-Democrat stance, with headlines like 'Do Democrats Cause Cancer?' While the lawsuit never materialized, Groening said some action was taken. "But now Fox has a new rule that we can't do those little fake news crawls [tickers] on the bottom of the screen in a cartoon because it might confuse the viewers into thinking it's real news," he added on NPR's Fresh Air programme

Neener, Neener, Neener!

The Don & I have Bozzies and you don't!




(Oh yeah and Petrina got one too) (c:

A Little of This, A Little of That...

Well I haven't properly blogged in quite a while. I don't really have a reason why, I guess its just that I haven't really had anything of any real substance to write. How many times can you guys really sit here and stomach reading all the inconsequential details of my weekend especially if you weren't a part of it? I dunno, I personally like to hear the details of people's lives, but that's just because I'm nosy and this whole blog thing makes it easier for me to be all up in their business without actually having to pry or speak to them.

What could I tell you guys that you'd possibly care about? Hmmm...I saw Bobby Bonilla at Dunkin' Donuts this morning. Just getting his coffee and donuts like everyone else now that he's back in town after the end of the season. There is a job working for a production company of a big name director that lives locally that is available, but is it worth a 10k paycut initially? I'm not sure about that. I also applied for a job at the WWE as an administrative assistant. That would be cool if it panned out, but I'm not about to go getting my hopes up. I mean I'm happy with the people I work with (well with one glaring exception) but I've had a lot of responsibility added to my job duties and I think that warrants a bit more than what I'm making now. At least put me on the same level as my friend who was hired after and basically does the same thing.

I can't wait for November. October has been a blast, but its just been I N S A N E L Y busy. The boy and I have not stopped running around the entire month! We had our trip to Montreal, the Dave Attell/Lewis Black/Mitch Hedberg show with The Fuzzy One and Whitey's Man Bitch, the Crankcase show at the Hard Rock, Six Flags trip, tonite we have a Maroon Five show to go to at Roseland and Friday we have a wedding. I think both of us really just need a rest. I dunno about him but I plan to spend all my November weekends snuggled in under the covers with a home cooked meal and a bottle of wine watching all the movies I've never seen (trust me, its a H U G E list). I think the only time he and I will probably go out is to go see Matrix Revolutions 'cause he's a bigtime Matrix fanboy.

I really miss my bebe, Lisa (Effmeboobs in the pic), she's the bestest and I know she's hella busy with her new job, but if she sees this: call me. We need coffee or a massage or facial or something girly. I love ya so much, girlie!

I'm getting excited for the Bozzies. They're only five days away. I hear the after party is gonna be a good one so make sure you get on the list, pronto. I'll catch ya on the flipside kiddies, behave!

UCB ON DVD !!!

So Im Dilly dallying aroudnd on the internet the other day and I happen to find that The Upright Citizens Brigade - The Complete First Season is coming to Dvd Nov 4th
so i would like to annouce a big hooray and a tra la la yeah i said it what ya going to do about it
unfortanly not every episode has comentary witch id like to hear alot more then alot and in a related story Strangers with Candy seaons 2 Dvd comes out also on the same day really Nov 4 is a big day for stuff to buy if you have money more thigns to buy include Finding Nemo on Dvd and somthing else i dont remember

Crispy New Rapper

I'm all about Crispy New Rapper, the latest Westchestah rap prodigy. Straight from the streetz, yo. Word to your motha, suckas! ONE!

Rod Roddy Dead at 66

He is number 3 they always go in 3s "Damm shit thats Is Wack"

FIRE BAD PENIS GROWTH GOOD

Thankyou Junk Mail you have brought me but i think The Mummy would be a better spokes man or maybe the Wolf Man

Computer Nerds Represent!


Yeah motherbitches, you're LOVIN' this free blogger hoodie action!

I want to eat the sun

It just looks so tastey look at that its tastey come on you want it

More bad News

FRED RERUN BERRY DEAD

Holy Crap Elliot Smith Is Dead

Very unexpected like unexpected death you wake up and don't want to hear death news then you see it and its like What the hell

I just finished watching the pilot of Tru Calling

How can i describe how dumb it is without sounding dumb

its hard but Fast Bass thumping techno music and lots and lots of Running threw the streets doesn't get me excited

its the story of tru she can go back in time and try to solve crimes kinda like Groundhog day but with a girl you want to punch in the face constantly cause shes annoying and not a likable actress but the story is sorta a good idea but how and where will the story go like she can only keep doing the thing and save people that will get boring fast

and for people who say shes hot they must not look at her head or hear her voice because sure everything below her shoulders is great to ogle at but ohh pretty picture doesn't make up for Crappy content

The best part of the show is to see Zach Galifianakis working cause he is hilarious but i don't know if his funny will show it sorta did in the pilot i would only watch for more Zach
if only he could have a hour long show of his own oh wait thanks Vh1 canceling that only to fill your programming with 30 hours of I love the decade shows

anyways tru callings not worth watching its on Thursdays anyways so the monkeys who like Friends wont watch and the old people who watch survivor wont and Fox loves to cancel shows fast ..

And Too the Ladies I love you

Plan Time



1. Collect underpants (and Stop being lazy)

2. ...

3. Profit (No Debt/Skinnyness)

You see, its simple.

You Stink!

Dear guy who wrote "Yankees How Ya Doin'?",

YOu really suck. that is *the* worst song EVER. Its totally unoriginal, totally annoying and totally stupid! How many other lame crappy baseball songs can you make? I bet you're the same 'tard who wrote "Who let the mets out?" My question is: who let you out? You're probably some drooly mongoloid who's mother told him he was funny when he was little. Guess what? Just like Santa and the EasterBunny, this too is a lie. Write better songs. You're poop. I hope I never hear that song again.

Good day, Sir!
Gwen

Halloween Wooooooooo!

I finally picked my costume....time to get workin' on it. Stay tuned for details. Im sure its not gonna be any kind of undertaking like the lovely Stella Bella, but I'll try darn it!

Conan has a Hot Wife

Conan Nocked up his Lady and they pooped out a baby girl so hopefuly he doesnt start talking about a bunch of baby stories and turn into something that belongs on primetime cbs but hopefully more Dog Humping Giant Stuffed bear Stoires

America, Jr.


I spent the weekend in Montreal with my lovely boyfriend. On the drive up we stopped for dinner in Lake George Village which was really nice and we ended up going to the Stewart's for some fuel and some super yummy orange soda. I wish we had Stewart's around here. )c:

We ended up staying at the Hotel Suites Le Faubourg. If you guys are planning a trip to Montreal I definitley reccomend a stay here. The rooms are huge, its a brand new construction one block from St. Catharine street and its in the heart of the downtown area. It was like we had an apartment for a weekend: huge living room, huge bedroom and a kitchen to boot. Only thing is the website said they had "high speed internet access" but it cost $10 a day, so we didn't end up using it. We checked in pretty late Friday night so we just crashed in the room and were all bright eyed and bushy tailed on Saturday morning.

We ate lunch at this awesome little Asian place called "SoupBol" and went shopping on Saint Catherine street which was a lot of fun. I ended up finding a new favorite store! I wanted to go to Roots which is like the Abercrombie of Canada, but alas they were just as pricey. I ended up instead in a really cute shop, Le Garage, its like a Canadian Contempo Casuals hooch mart, but I really liked it. Lots of cute clothes, lots of BRIGHT PINK! clothes, it was quite Gwennish indeed. We stopped in to the Canadian version of D'agostinos for some beers to drink before we went out. Dennis LOVED the walk in beer fridge and just kind of stood around inside it for about five whole minutes just oogling all the beer. We went back to the room and I would like to say I WAS NOT DRUNK, yet, but I walked into the wall face first. What made it worse was Dennis had been in the other room and wouldn't have seen it, except he went to take his shoes off in the bedroom and was witness to the whole thing. Saturday night we ended up at The Casino Montreal which was a lot of fun. I ended up doing really well on the slot machines there and the boy of course played the "ponies". It was crowded as anything though, so we cut it short and left whilst we were up.

Sunday morning we ate at this awful place called Rubens, the food was decent, but the service was atrocious. Our waitress spoke only in French to us even though we were ordering in English and she not only attended to everyone who came in after us, but served them all before she served us. Its not like our meals were anythign that took a while to cook. We ordered French Toast with eggs and a cheeseburger. Damn, rude Frenchies! Sunday afternoon we went down town to the Montreal Science Center and did some neat hands-on experiments. Doog sat on nails and made TV and radio shows and me, being the nerdy girl that I am, learned Binary. I sat there for about half an hour until I taught myself how to do it and then I made Dennis go back to the beginning of the museum so I could answer the "Binary Math Quiz". Oh and we saw this cool thing where it was how you turn pure electricity into water. I thougt that was badass.

We went back to the centre of town and had a mini bar crawl starting at "Iggy's Pub" where 1 Smirnoff Ice and one pt of Stella Artois was $15! We did get to check up on the NFL progress and I will give him props (Hun, ya gave me a hellatial asswhompin this week). Anyhow, next stop was Dundee's, what a great bar. Good atmosphere, nice bartenders, strong drinks. A great time indeed. The final stop on the "crawl" was Stogie's/Ice/London Pub (a three in one place) where I ended up with a sub-par apple martini, but a great view of the street on a really nice little terrace thingy. We finally ended up at our dinner location: Mexicali Rosa's where we got some really AWESOME tex-mex food and a whole pitcher of the strongest Sangria I'd ever had. Needless to say I was a little blitzed at this point, but we drove back to the hotel room. Down the busy main street of St. Catharine, through the confusing construction zone that was there and right when we got literally 5 feet from our hotel parking lot we got stopped by the Fuzz. Thats right. I started panicking thinking I was gonna get a DUI or something, but they were very nice and let us go. Turns out you're not allowed to make a right on red anywhere in Montreal. So if you ever go there, please follow the rule! The cops were very nice to us though.

Monday morning we were a little sad it was our last day, but we ended up eating at Nickel's Diner, this chain of 50's style diners owned by Celine Dion. It was acutally really good food and the waitress was nice. We ended up going to some like garden of plant statues (I'm sure it has a name, but I dunno what it is) down by the Science Centre and it wasn't worth the money we paid to get into it. We just thought it would be a cool place to get some pictures of the two of us together, but alas everyone there spoke french and looked at us like we had three heads when we tried to ask them to take a picture. After the bastard rose garden thing, we went to the Notre Dame Basillica which was just a few blocks away. It was really stunning and if you ever get the chance to go there, even if you aren't Catholic or even regligious the art work alone is breathtaking. After being in such a holy place we had to up the sin factor and we went back to the Casino where I lost all my money (but it was the end of the trip so who cared). When we got to the border we stopped for some duty free shopping and were given the shake down by the bull dyke border guard who stopped us for about five minutes. Dinner at Friday's on our way home in Saratoga Springs and then we were back home before we knew it. It was unbelieveable though how quickly a six hour drive can pass when you're engaged in conversation. I left out the inside jokes to spare y'all, but I'm sure they'll be back in another blog soon so don't feel too left out! Honestly I can say it was one of the best weekends ever!

1-2-3-4-5...6-7-8-9-10...11-12

Funky Goodness

You all need to go check that link out. Its a remix of the greatest thing to ever come out of sesame street (well, except for near & far) thanks to the fine folks at Milk & Cookies for the link!

Just a Quote

YouMadeMonkeyCry: cause I draw the line at fucking my mom in the ass
YouMadeMonkeyCry: and you can quote me on that

The Most Evilest of Evil Coughs

Im coughign my balls off over here so thats all im going ot blog about cause it hurts so much

Failed Experiment

Its dangerous when the Don and I get bored. We come up with "special" ideas like this:

Cat Typing

Realization

I realized I spend WAY and I mean WAY too much time online. I am guaranteed to be awake from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. That's approximately 16 hours I would say that I probably spend about 11 of those hours online (three of those hours I'm NOT on I'm at school with no computer available). No wonder I feel like I'm flabby and over weight. Its cause I am. I am sitting in front of this idiot box all day. I have decided to make a conscious effort and stop being a fatty lazy internet savvy girl with a wicked case of carpal tunnel. From now on I will only be online during business hours (that's 8 am-4 pm Monday thru Friday) and on weekends, but I'm generally out with the boyfriend on those days so I won't probably be around then either.

I will kick it up at the gym and instead of doing one hour a day I will do two hours. I will spend one of my extra hours cooking healthier meals for me to eat during the rest of the week. I could get a hobby or something, I could even (gasp) volunteer. I will start reading again (you know, that weird thing where you have actual bound papers with writing and you flip through them and they tell you a story). This is totally out of control. Seriously. How I got this far I'll never know, but I refuse to be this lazy any longer.

**Those of you who actually know me know that I say something like this about once every six months and I go all gung ho about stuff for 2 weeks and then I go back to being lazy, slobby, fat self. If you see me online and its not work hours don't talk to me. Tell me to fuck off and stop being fat and lazy. Thank you **

Read You Made Monkey Cry

I want to Write about Ned Kelly but since Lou told me about it I should just tell you to go to his blog so when he writes about it you can learn about Australia's Hero

but I can talk about this Ned Kelly the 1970 staring Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones It was on Starz Encore Western last night
and by the way Starz western has the funniest hosts for there movies you know how some movie channles have guys come out tell a little fact about the moive well on starz western they have a old man talk in a old timey western accent dressed up in a bad Cowboy outfit it was hilarious
but back to the movie about the Iron Outlaw shouldn't someone with a British accent be able to fake a Austrialn Accent really easyly?
well Mick Couldn't

I forgot my point I have a Cold or From now on i'm refereeing to colds As Room Tempratures so be all like get better to me and stuff cause i'm sick and ouchie
in conclusion go to You made monkey cry

JUNK MAIL TITTLES 10/7

1. You why an Experienced Lady can be the Best!
2. Veronica #Lose 10 pounds in 2 Weeks! bdbe
3. Too many dates
4. Smell you, and want to bang you9
5. Peel, this is the real thing- top rated unsec...
6. Pamper your sore muscles
7. Mr Chuli
8. Live Longer And Grow Stronger! of that goal b...
9. In the B-room now1
10. In case of emergency2
11. Friend, you are qualified to receive a $2500 ...
12. FREE Subscription to International Epicure - ...
13. Find new auto insurance rates for Member
14. Are these dates free?
15. 66 Mucho Dollars to be made on eBay yics pkmb...

Remember when junk mail was only mail that involed theses 3 words Teen, Sluts, and Donkylips

Special Puppets

These are Special puppets who With the help of Al Roker tell me there 2 kinds of touching good touching and bad touching
When someone touches me and it makes me feel weird or nervous thats bad touching and I should tell a adult that is all

Id Like ot Add That Many of You Reading This Have touched me the bad kind of Touching so im telling My dad on you

Weekendy Goodness

Well well well, here we are back at work after another stellar weekend with the boy. Friday we hung out with the lovely Christie at a fashion show. We got to model wedding dresses and the boy got all gussied up in a tux (man, does he clean up nicely!). It was fun to get all dressed up, I even got to wear a tiara, I was super stoked about that. Well, that and Christie's Batman Wedding Gown. Anyhow, we ended up later in the night at this cool bar called the Upper Deck. They make a mean steak and cheese (damn it, now I'm starving!) and we enjoyed much drinkage and then headed over to the dorms for Dominican College. (Oddly enough these dorms are at the hotel that Jon and I stayed at after the Ron & Fez Christmas party last year. My infamous trek down Rte. 59 should have ended there, but no, I ended up in a NY State Trooper Car, drunk and bawling my eyes out, LOL.) Anyhow, it was in these dorms that I realized: no matter how bad I want to go back to college, there is no way I can live in a dorm. I am just too old to do it. The boy and I felt quite out of place when we were there. Everyone was really sweet and really nice, but it was just wired, like when we had to hide beer for fear of the R.A.

Saturday was a lot of fun as well. We hit up the diner and got some yumalicious pancakes and then we went to Woodbury Commons for some bitchin' outlet shopping. I got some sweet new jeans and a cool jean skirt and some sweatpants and some cool Roxy stuff. The boy got some snazzy new clothes and an Obi Wan light saber. His little levitating Yoda toy that came with it was a little disappointing though. It was all and all a giant fun time....<3 shopping.

The night only got better though, because we met up with Lou and the Lovely Lisa for some good eating's at this hibachi place in white plains and followed it up with School Of Rock at New Roc City. We were gonna go play some glow in the dark mini golf afterwards, but we're all old bastids now and we decided to go home and rest our hips and wait for our AARP cards.

Sunday the boy and I tried again to eat at Cheesecake Factory, again, but alas it was an hour wait for breakfast, and my tummy isn't that forgiving before its first meal. We headed over to City Limits Diner instead. I was almost taken out by a guy in a Porsche, but whatever, it was tasty food stuffs and great company. Back to Chez Gwen for some maxin' and relaxin' and then we ate with my fam (who absolutely ADORE Doogie, who doesn't!!) and enjoyed some more Band of Brothers. I'm REALLY diggin' this mini series. Its interesting and well written, the cinematography is great and its overall just amazing. I'm glad he's gettin' me into this stuff. It was nice cause we got to have another sleep over last night as well 'cause he's a lucky school system employee and still gets the Jewish holidays off.

Anyhow, that about wraps it up. I hope all of y'all had a good a time as I did. Catch ya on the flipside, kiddies!

New "UNDA-PANTS"

No Longer will I wear ripped or old or weird patterned boxers cause I got kick ass ones With polar bears on them well thats just one I have others but right now praise my Polar Bear Goodness and really I have bloggers block so i'm not sure What to talk about anymore so i'm special for having new underpants its a big deal for me

Friday Fun Fact

When you google "how to get black people to like you when you're a whitey prick" I come up as number 5, w00t! Unfortunatley that bastid, Whitey, is number 1! So close to victory...you've won this round whitey...

Wanted:


Serious people well trained in hand to hand combat, extortion techniques and other underhanded deeds to join with me to form an organized crime syndicate. Pay will be good, there will be basic training at Al Gwenna Lackey training camps as well as excellent benefits, 401k plan, stock options, dress down Fridays and pizza lunches. If you're intersted please email me your resumee or submit an essay of 500 words or less on why I should pick you as a lackey.

You Know You Work In 2003 When...

(Generally I hate forwarded e-mails, but this one is written as if someone was watchign me in my office)

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail your friend who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses. (so true!)

6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner

7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

10. You learn about your lay-off on the 10 o'clock news.

11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

12. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.

and the real clinchers are...
13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.

14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends".

15. You got this e-mail from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.

16. You are too busy to notice there was no No. 9.