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Diva & Co.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Where you At Other bloggers


Theres suposbly 3 bloggerrs at this blog
wheres the other 2
some one poke them with a stick
well i know Gwen-diva had a computer malfuntion and then her boob came out at the super bowl

and the brown hank guy is probly drunk somewhere

sooooo
I dont want Dynamite Diva.blogspot.com to die

soooooooo hmm maybe we just need pictures of boobies or somthing
or fighting robots

Robots with Boobies?

Im just Brain Stormin yo

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

And Scene


Fella Says: Send Flowers

Lady Says: Where

Fella Says: To My Funeral

Lady Says: What??

Fella Says: Cause I Can't Live Without you

Sunday, August 22, 2004

All Smiles

Today I'm all smiles. These are all sorts of different smiles that I'm cycling through. I've had the just-finished-a-great-book smile. The I-am-reviling-in-this- super-awesome-girly-pedicure-with-my-mommy smile. The I'm-totally-in-love-and-can't-wait-to-see-him-again smile, the last-night's-party-was-so-much-fun-and-I-have-the- best-friends-in-the-world smile, the I-may-have-taken-my-sweet-assed-time-but-I'm-finally-doing-what-I-want-to-for-me smile and one that I haven't had ever: the "I just saw someone's wedding announcement in the paper and though she said she's better than me and always would be, and she graduated from a "good" college, she's only working at Starbucks (as a barista, not even a shift!) as is her husband, so even though I've acutally enjoyed myself I've not wasted $120,000 I'm *finishing* my education and I'm also working at Starbucks (as a shift) so it looks as if I'm still keeping up with you, but having twice as much fun" smile.

All in all - a great weekend. Get out and enjoy the sunshine today, childrens. Catch ya on the flipside. XoXo!

Friday, August 20, 2004

Whoomp! Here I Is

Ugh. Haven't had much time to write lately, my smooshie little babies, because I've been slignin' lattes like it was going out of style. Seriously though, I'm at work at 5:15 a.m. most mornings and don't have access to a computer there. Imagine the nerve of my coffee shop not having a T-Moblie wireless hotspot service set up yet! Also, my Ti-Book is in triage at the Apple store (their verbage, not mine) getting its CD drive replaced (apparently dropping that bookend on it way back when has finally caught up with it) so I rarely have any free time to keep you all abreast of what I'm up to. My lack of internet contact has actually gotten me to start reading again. I've started reading all the Harry Potter books (how very 2 years ago of me, I know) and I'm loving them. The first movie also rocked (I held out on seeing them until I've finished the corresponding book). Once I've finished these I think the Bounre books are next on my list.

All this time in work though has made me realize how people ordering coffee in Westchester County are not only the most ANNOYING people ever, but also the most anal retentive. The math and recipes of things they order sometimes is just astounding. Becareful who they see behind the counter as well becuase they only want certain people making their drinks (thankfully I haven't had any complaints about me yet). Today was such a wierd day (I was at work from 5:15 a.m. - 3:15 p.m.) and I swear to go GOD a full moon must be coming or something cause every nut job in the county was out and shopping at my store today. I started to write down people's orders as the morning went on becuase they just started to get so ludacris. Allow me to explain:

One woman comes in and asks for a 1/3 caffienated 2/3 decafe cafe latte with one percent milk. Okay, fine, not a big deal.

Next was a gentleman who ordered a "Venti Skim French Vanilla Cappuccino". Okay, venti vanilla skim cappuccino I repeat back and with a look of complete disgust he scoffs back at me "Um, no, I said *FRENCH* vanilla thats half hazlenut half vanilla...you must be new". (I've been here on and off for the better part of the year and most people are tards and order with other coffee shops lingo, so I'm used to translating. If one more person comes in and asks for a "skinny mochaccino" they're getting punched, but thats a rant for another day).

The kicker came at about 1:30 this afternoon when a gentleman came in and asked for an "extra large super bone dry 2 shots of espresso cappuccino with 1/2 a pump of sugar-free vanilla syrup, skim milk and 3 equals, but I dont want to drink it now, I want to pay for it and come back and have you make it in 10 minutes".

Most of you could probably give 2 shits about this, but its funny to you probably a) if you're a barista, b) if you're from westchester county or c)have any vague clue about what I'm talking about or just generally hate people like me. I'm contemplating starting a second blog solely to jot down my coffee shop rants about customers, crappy co-workers like Frankenstein Fonzi & The Beast (I love everyone else I work with though) or just generally whining. I feel bad that Hank and I have been neglecting the blog as of late, but we've both been really busy in "real life". I promise to update more regularly, probably with horror stories from the work floor, but that's it from me for now. Send me emails, send me love letters, send me presents, just please don't forget about me (c:

Take care, childrens.


Thursday, August 19, 2004



a judge for 22 years, Thompson was accused by state Attorney General Drew Edmondson of using a "penis pump" to enhance erections during trials and exposing himself to a court reporter several times while masturbating on the bench

I bet Anthony Scalia does the same thing infron of Clarence Thomas

Tuesday, August 17, 2004



I Love Found Maazine!!!!!
I don't even have a issue yet I intendt to go out and find one or maybe I should suscribe

A Couple Days Ago an Anonymous Commenter Asked if I failed 9th grade english


Well Anonymous The Truth is no i didn't the first time that is
the second time around i had a easy teacher she liked me she gave me a D
10th grade english i did better in there was alot more book reading and answer sheets less essays i got about a C in it
11th grade there was alot of Essasy but i tried really hard and i got a D
in 12th grade it was a mix of books and essasy reading books = essay writing essasys on them no matter how hard i tired got lower then my expectation grades on them but i got about a D over all in the class even with all the work i did

Soo there Anonymous think your a bad ass now don't ya
pick on someone with a learning dissbility i bet you flick retarded kids ears to don't you
yeah your a assface
p.s. i dont care if you were Anonymous im not some wacka doo who will be like "quack quack your a pussy for not saying your name" cause your not you just wanted ot comment without having to fill out the stupid thing



"It's not that I want to live forever. It's just that I don't want other people living after I am dead!" - Bob Odenkirk
It was so Funny I had to share the Quote

and since i shared that one heres another but from David
Ladies, I must say that I have learned from this experience profoundly. I will never hurry my cock into your asshole ever. No matter how into it either one of us is. It will be a gentle movement with a slight rocking motion and a pleasant easing in. No more hurried “whoops…sorry”. I know now. I understand. I’ve been there and back. Unfortunately this means no strap-ons for you either.
- David Cross


and thats part of why you should Buy Mr Show dvds and Read BobandDavid.com

Photos

Megan's photos from the July 31st Hillcrest Suites Luau. Not all the most flattering of everyone, but this is what drunken hawaiian debauchery and like 8 gallons of Jungle Juice Does to people.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Wallmart at 5 am


So about 5 am last night as i couldnt sleep neither could my friend i go to him we should scope out wallmart someday to see how much the Can machines pay out (because we have a scheme to steal cans from peoples hosues and cash them in the machine) so he goes ehh how about now
so i get my pants on and we head otu to wallmart in 5 am in the morning
good lord why are there so many people driving that early we were in come kinda convoy of 8 cars it was kinda spookey we thought (or hopeing) that we might get assed raped
but anyways
you know how sad and depressed people look at wallmart in the day time well in the early am they are jsut cranky and pissed off

What youll find at Wallmart in the Early Am

1.Empty Beer Bottles in the Baby Deparment right next to the Strollers

2.People Looking bussy i swear they must of been haveing races there was a bunch of people just pulling carts all over the store they had no boxens on theses carts but they are my hero of wallmart Fuck wall martright in the ear

3.Teen smokeing - there was some girl must of been 13 or 14 smokeing outside looking like a bad ass cause its true smokeing does make you look cool

4. Probaly illialgle mexiacan workers who get yelled at then made fun of cause they don't speak good English who would think that kinda intollerance would happen at wallmart

Well it's a short list but you got the gist of my adventure
we didn't find out how much recylening machines pay out though and they smell like hot vomit the machines that is

oh oh also at one point i got lost in wallmart between the gun section and the toy section

now you ask "What did you buy at Wallmart" I BOUGHT NOTHING i wont spend money there no matter how Kick Ass the Pellect guns look or how cheap the kool aid is or any of there evil rollback prices Even there soda machines are crazy low
If you shop at wallmart and have a choic of other places be Ashamed of your self be very ashamed unless you don't know how horrible they are in that case learn it up nigs


oh oh oh p.s. After wallmart I got a kick ass Bagle Did you know How Soft, Warm ,and yummy bagles are at 7 am ohhh sooo goood

Friday, August 13, 2004

White Supremacist Poetry


Title: Poor Thing

(Sample Quote) "......so many times she has been used
from her grandfather and those niggers and wetbacks
not careing anymore she pops those pills
meeting one who opens her eyes
makeing her strong agine
17 now and still dieing inside........"


It's Worse Then Mall Metal wich means it would sell big in hot topic

Thursday, August 12, 2004

McGreevey Loves the Cock
"I am a gay American," McGreevey said. He announced he would resign effective November 15.


Thats the Cbs Link to it but here's what I say

1. He was a Crummy Govoner
a. Dirty money dealings
b. Top Contributers who Blackmail
c. And More

2. Just Cause he likes The Cock Don't Make him a bad person 2004 who hasn't had a little cock ......

3. I live in New Jersey What has your Governer done Lately take that Connecticut

but He Is Comeing Out as Gay is the big Story to hide the lead no wonder he was so crappy he always knew he could pull this ace so people would be like oh he likes cock

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

FLAPJACK-OFF THERES GANNA BE BATTER EVERYWHERE!!


If I owned or Ran a Resturant/Diner I wouled have Flap Jack off Events and the slogan would be Theres ganna be Batter Everywhere!!

what do you think would you like some batter splased on your face

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Out Like the Fat Kid In Dodgeball

Many of you are well aware that 2 of my fellow bloggers and friends Liz and Gary O are participating in the Avon walk for breast cancer this October in New York City and they're both dilligently trying to raise money for their really great cause. In order to help further his cause, Gary has organized a Charity Dodgeball Tournament at Chelsea Piers in NYC! Its going to be very kick ass. The details are in the link above and its sure to be a great time. Hopefully many of you whom I know (and some who I haven't met yet) will show up. Its a great cause and with Gary at the helm its sure to be a success and a blast. If that wasn't reason enough to go a team of hot, sexy, bartenders from Red Rocks West Saloon in NYC will be participating in the tournament as well and helping to host the afterparty there. If supple hot bar boobies aren't a good enough reason to get out there and support Gary and Liz reach their goals I don't know what is!

Hope to see y'all there. If you can't attend, but you're interested in donating get to gary & liz's blogs they'll be able to get the paperwork or a computerized link to you to donate so that you can feel good about yourself and help others. (c:

Friday, August 06, 2004

Chappelle's killed him


Rick James Dead

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Gone to Wildwood

Avenge Me


cause of stupid chimcham and stupid mom im not in wildwood
ringwoods better anyways i dont want my wood wild ill settle for ring

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

A Divalicious Update

Howdy my lil bloggy babies. I havent had much time to chat, catch up on your blogs or even post here since I've been slingin' latte's full time, but its good for me. So far in this last week I've lost 5 lbs. I am always on my feet running around instead of being sedentary behind a desk all day and I don't have to worry 'bout my arms 'cause repeatedly lifting gallons of milk is good for buildin' biceps. To hell with the gym: I'm gonna go do some milk curls! Haha.

Anyhow, Projekt Revolution tour last friday was pretty cool. Less Than Jake and the Used were good, it sucked that more people weren't into them. Snoop was pretty good (even if he *did* think he was at Jones Beach and not PNC), Korn. God, Korn rocked my fucking face off (no, they weren't the headliners, wtf!) and they did a really kick ass cover of the Wall. Rock on Jonathan Davis, you kilt wearing -tearing shit up- badass mothafucka! Linkin Park I really hate. I probably hate them more now that I've seen them live than I did prior to this, but there was one cool part of their set: Jay-Z. Yes, Jay-Z. Hova, Jigga, Sean Carter, whatever you wanna call him. He came out on set and did 3 songs with LP. No, none of them was 99 problems. He did "Dirt off your SHoulder", "Big Pimpin" and soemthing else that was good, but for some stupid reason I can't recal right now.

The hillcrest luau was the party of the fucking year. We pulled it off it rocked everyone in attendance agreed it was the most festive of all festivals. What is it about tiki torches, hawaiian shirts and jungle juice that really gets people partying? What happened at the Luau stays at the Luau so if you missed it I guess you'll just have to wait patiently for the invite to next year's bash.

Other than that, I've just been working and watching Andrew play hockey, so I guess that'll do it for this installment. I promise to catch up with all of you as I'll only be at work until 10 a.m. tomorrow (see, going in at 5 a.m. *does* remotely have its benefits...who am I kidding!) so I'll catch you all on the flipside. Be good and send me emails (dynamitediva628 at yahoo dot com) so I can feel special. I promise to write back to 'em. Love you all! *mWaH!*

Monday, August 02, 2004

I want ot Marry my fan



I hate this weather

I want ot marry my fan cause if it wasn't for my fan I woudln't be able ot sleep at night for it cools me

at least we dont have wild fires in Nj probly cause its not dry jsut humid i think i could buy a funnel and fill a coke can with sweat if i so thought to then trick someone into drinking my coke sweat then laugh much like that dentist who was squirting jizzum into his paitents mouths

but i feel less preverted but i don't have the GUSTO to find a funnel or sit all day wiht my elbow bent into the said funnel that owudl be placed into the coke can

p.s. Opium Smells Like Burnning nylon Rope

oh one more thing we have Mermaids but not Merbutlers How do they dust under the waves discuss

P.P.S The Voice of Stormy on Sea lab 2021 is also a Writer for Newsday