A Little of Everything

So yeah, that bug? Defintiley squashed: holla atcha boy!

A 5 lb. bookend fell from my hutch on my desk and gozarnated my laptop. I never thought a mac could break, until you drop a rock on it...The "j" key flew off and there is a dent by the track pad, the screen went black and I can't tell if its on or off. Thats gonna have to get fixed. Hopefully the lil elves at Apple can do that for me.

Long weekend coming, yay! Plan on BBQs, time with my girls, movies, hockey and cooking. Anyone have any simple, but to-die-for cookout recipes? Lay 'em on me.

Added many peeps to the linkage: tif (finally, sorry!), madchatthew, the sicilian, moe, hipster faggot and happy hooking.

Um, I think that does it for now.

Things That Make Me Go Grrrrrr

1. Starting on a hill at a light with a manual transmission and someone pulls up thisclose behind you causing you to a) stall out or b) squeal your tires like its Dukes of Hazaard*

2. Liars

3. People who think they're better than they acutally are

4. Rainy days (when its been raining for like 5 days in a row. This is Connecticut, not Seattle)

5. People who can't take a hint

6. People who don't clean up after themselves

7. Not having a sufficient amount of money

8. Working at this job

9. My 2 favorite pens dying on the same day

10. The exorbited price of gyms

11. Having to clean my room...again (I don't even really live there anymore)

12. Living between 2 places and never having what you're looking for at that moment at the place you are right then

13. Vacations ending

14. Friends moving away

15. Realizing how much time you've wasted being "responsible"

* In fairness to me, I've only been driving my new car for like less than 6 hours total so its exepcted that I'm not gonna be *perfect* at driving it. It just makes me aggrivated though.

Professional Fly Swatter

This weekend I crushed a really big bug. One of those pests thats always buzzing in your ear, not really doing anything wrong, just being annoying like a fruit fly. Good news is I didn't even have to wash my hands or shoes off afterwards. It was a good clean kill.

O, Canada!

Well children, I'm back from my trip to Toronto. If I could sum it up in one word: awesome. Toronto has all the things about Canada that I love: my dollar going further, stronger drinks, clean streets, Roots, hockey and none of the stuff I hated about Montreal (the rude attitude & all the Frenchness). I would go back (and maybe even move there) in a heartbeat, but first I'd like to go back to the Caribbean. Anyhow, Friday we travelled there, checked in and checked out the area around our hotel. We were staying downtown about 2 blocks from the Eaton Centre so we snooped around in there and came back to the hotel and swam. We headed out to dinner and stumbled upon one of the best restaurants I've probably ever eaten: Brown Stone Bistro on Yonge street. I had a delicious (albeit burningly strong) mango-appley martini, bacon-wrapped filet mignon in a red wine demiglace (perfectly cooked and seasoned the most deliciousway I've ever eaten a steak!). Yummy deserts as well. A perfect beginning to our evening. We eventually came across "Hoops" a sports bar/hooters-esque kind of place where the boy and I put back quite a few drinks. I ended up with the hiccups (Imagine bugs bunny after a few swigs from the XXX jug, lol) and discovered the perfect failproof cure for them. A great night for our first night in town.

Saturday we went to the Hockey Hall of Fame which I have to say was *really* awesome. I was pleasantly suprrised. It was very cool to see the Stanley cup (and the real one and the vault in which its contained), the old jerseys were also really cool too. They had a small collection of goalie masks (I was hoping there'd be more to look at) the old fashioned ones were just scary looking and Andrew played goalie and forward in the simulation games. Next we headed over to the CN Tower which is the world's tallest building which was kind of cool. We rode this lego simulator ride which was a lil cheezy but fun none the less. There was CRAZY security there which I felt fine about and I even managed to go out on the glass floor, scared as I may have been I got out there for a picture of it just so I *never* have to do it again, haha. We had lunch at the skydome which was cool and then headed back to the hotel. We napped, watched some of the Tampa Bay & Philly game and then headed out to an atrocious dinner. A dinner so bad and so overpriced that I won't even say where we ate. Drinks at the Wolf & Firkin Pub wound out the night.

Sunday we went back to Brownstone for brunch, walked around, shopped and saw Troy (the Paramount theatre in Toronto's entertainment district is the BEST movie theatre ever!. I know you're thinking "what the hell did you go to the movies for if you were on vacation?" (well, maybe you're not wondering but I'll justify it to you anyhow) we had done all we wanted to do that we *could* do weather permitting and we needed to kill some time. Dinner at Wayne Gretzky's was delicous and started us on our Sunday evening pub crawl which ended up being some trival pursuit questions at another firkin pub and then triple shots at this weird little hole in the wall.

All in all an absolutely awesome trip, lots of fun, good company, shopping and dining. Toronto is where its at, kids.

If you Donate $400 you get a Badge

okay so the ass is fake but now its funny haha Ass Wrangler
but they really give out pins if you donate $400
I found it on the street
I felt liek Charlie Bucket after finding that dollar in the street
then I used that doallar to by a cnady bar and that candy bar had the Golden Ticket

also Shrek 2 was so great it should of made more then $104 million
and I think the Girl Oger is hot and has really pretty Hair

oh oh speaking of hot cartoon people

Anybody get Superman/Batman #10 good lord they shouldn't draw super girl that way it jsut feels so wrong to look they drew her really hot in the 8 and 9 but the big Picture on the 2nd page if you dont have the comic just go to the comic shop and turn the first page its Dirty

and p.s. My Eye is bascily all better with a little bit of Light Irritation and tiny bit of blurr but i dont wanna stop wearing my eye patch

Michael Moore Won the Palme D'Or!!

Fahrentheit 9/11 just won the Palme D'or at Canns thats the big prize if you didn't know

fin-

I Just Remembered

I think its Lou's birthday
some knew him as Pootertoot
Some Knew him as You Made Monkey Cry
Some He Is just Lou

Where Ever you are you ass faced monkey sucker Happy brithday to you even if you disspeared forever your a old fart

The End

End of Angel

Tongiht is the final episode of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Spin off show Angel
I admit with regret i have not watched angel all 5 sesaons when they made the spin off i was liek whoa fuck that they jsut after money and i never even gave it a chance shame on me i have no leanred and relizd angel is fucking kick ass i watch the reruns everyweekend and im slowy cathcing up and one day will buy all the dvds i should of trusted joss weadon

so i watched half of last seaosn and all of this year and dammit why does WB have ot suck and throw it away to quote joss "its liek a Heathy person havign a heart Atack" the show was dooing fine why can it stupid network with there stupid shows that i keep stupid watching

Well anywho I also have learned I can keep the Buffyverse alive threw some comics and what not but dammit
theres liek no good sci fi shows or cartoons on i think thats why i have been reading alot more comics as of late theres a lack in the entertainment i enjoy the most

also Damm Reailty shows and Damm you all if you watch them cause they are ruining Telivison

so in conclusion Watch Angel Tongiht 9pm On the WB
I know i'll miss it dammit its a good show

I feel like Xander or Sammy Davis Jr or Elle Driver

CAUSE I ONLY GOT ONE EYE

okay i still have 2 but my dog hit my in the eye
Yes Evil chim Cham Strikes again you thought she jsut barked up a storm oh no she has blinded me
or partily blinded me for the time being my left eye is all covered up i got eye wash and eye drops and im not lettign a Dr touch me unless it still hurts

but i got a kick ass eye patch i bet youd love a picture oh yeah you would well who knows maybe cause this eye patch is so bad ass
im feeling the need ot shivver someones timbers i wear iggy the cat on my sholder like a parrot and he wont say polly wanna cracker he only says never more

anywho its hard ot use the computer with one eye cause it hurts to read so im popping ibruprofine like its outta style well not really but a coule pills every few hours
so if anyone wants ot talk pirate talk send me messages

p.s. i wish we coudl steam roll over Ryan Secreast and the words written on his tomb stone would be Seacreast out

YAY YAY YAY!


Come Thursday I will be the proud owner of a very pretty black 2001 Volkswagen Jetta (yes, before the Pathfinder I had a different Jetta and neither are the one pictured above). Its so pretty; it has grey leather interior, a sun roof, tinted windows, nice alloy rims, heated seats and lots of other goodies. Also: its manual so place bets now on how long it takes me to completely anihilate the clutch. I think I'm going to name him Trevor (my last Jetta was named Travis).

So uh...anyone wanna buy a Pathfinder??

WTF, Bitch?!?

Who is the fucking wierdo who googled "cum recipe -orgy -lesbian -included -anime "? Please, for the love of all things good and holy I'm going to give you a choice:

1) Unplug from your computer immediately, go outside, let the funky stink blow off you and learn to meet new people. Start slowly, go the grocery store or McDonalds or something just get interaction with somoene besides your cyber-life mate.

2) Put the plastic bag from your latest internet shimpent to your house over your head and tape it around your neck. Start breathing deeply so you use up all the oxygen and eventually suffocate and off yourself. Please, for me? I'll give you a dollar.

Take That Jack Cafferty

This morning on Cnn "AMERICAN MORNING" Jack Caferty Made a little Fuss about Air America Selling Thongs so i wrote in and was like hey anyone can make a thong its cafepress.com and im like Jack I could make one of you even so there it is i sent it in
but now I learn he only brought it up cause lazy cnn like to get stoire ideas from Drudge Report

but still i stuck it to Jack oh yes i did
but also im addicted to the damm cnn feedback thing that i never get on but one day i will

All Smiles To Start The Week

I had a really, really great weekend again. Even my good friend, One Brown Eyed Hank, can attest to it this time. Friday I went over to the boy's house, but he was already half in the bag and incapable of functioning normally. (Oddly drinking tequila with your boss since 4p.m. will do that to you come 8 o'clock.) Hank, his brother (Hank Jr.), his brother's girlfriend (the delightful Marianne), Vicki, the boy and I watched Boondock Saints. I'd never seen this movie and everyone who had seen it raves about it. Now I know why. Well there are acutally 2 reasons why: 1 & 2. Just kidding, it rocked my socks off, the shootouts, the concept of it all, really well done. I finally understand a lot of people's random quotings that I never got and I'm excited about the prospect of All Saints Day as well.

Saturday I went to look at my new *dream car* I will withhold any information on it to avoid jinxing anything, but it was truly an amazing thing. I'm very excited for it (hopefully). Saturday afternoon Andrew and I went to lunch in Greenwich and saw the delightful Al Roker out with his family. Good times indeed. Met back up with Hank, Hank Jr., Vicki, Marianne and Becki and we headed out for a 3 hour tour of the Bronx...um, er, I mean a trip to Arthur Avenue (just kidding, Jim!). We picked up some cheese, saw cheese elephants, bought pasta, prosciutto and bread. The lovely Jimmy & Vicki made us a homemade Italian feast with Vicki's awesome ass kicking sauce. Yum. We all got our drink on some hilarious photos were taken, Reg and I headed to bed early and that was that.

Sunday yummy panckakes, trip to the mall, purchasing of some old skool nintendo-y goodness and a little starbucks & zelda thrown in for good measure. All in all a great weekend as always, with great friends and some funny assed photos to go with it.

Robot Jesus

Look at this (not at work)
She's all Im Ganna Stab your Fucking Eyes out

Well i havent posted this week because the God damm blogger changed i dont liek change
but any who

1. I solved another aim virus problem

My freinds Gf Got some kidna aim virus
that changed her away messages to be A Link to a guy with a enlarged butthole well in many minuetes of research i found if you downlaod this thing called Aim Fix then it Fixes the Aim Virus im so smart do do do

2 PANTY HOSE THIGH HIGHS HOISERY

I might be getting a new gig at a Pantyhose Warehouse Wich includes Employee discount so any ladys want some monster vagina holders call me

at the interview the man tom he was all like "We mainly deal wiht moving stockings panty hose thigh highs" i think he was trying to see if i'd laugh but i didn't but when he put his hand on my inner thigh i was kidna creeped out but thats what happens on interviews right?

and finaly a Candy dispencer Fell on my head
but im not bleeding and when it hit my a yellow skittle fell out
not of my mouth but from the thing

p.s. If you have a outty belly button it looks like a Cats asshole and plaese get it surgicly Fixed

Stop The Presses!

I actually have something nice to say about being friends with girls! There is nothing more relaxing and low stress than a night lounging with your girls. You can go in your t's and p.j. pants, you don't have to put on make-up, you can just pull a ball cap over your hair and there is no pressure. You can just lounge and laugh and there is little to no pretense. I almost forgot that was possible.

Don't get me wrong: I love to get dolled up and go out with my girls for a night out on the town, but there is a different air when that happens. There is a lot of checking yourself, constantly comparing always in competition although its never spoken; it's just always there.

Last night was a chill night.

This Blog Is a Beacon...

for people who like otters, bitches, a good cum recipe and those of our fine feathered friends who can't spell. You reap what you sew...go figure.

I'm going to get serious for one brief moment, and one moment only: when I was younger I read books like Song of Roland and through studying other parts of Medieval and Middle history you realize how bloody the crusades are, but somehow they still seemed to have been a little romanticized. Now, finding ourselves essentially in the midst of a new crusade its not as brave, noble or even as important as it may have seemed back then. We may have buried the flag of Christianity under the guise of "anti-terrorism", but we're on the fast track to the same scenario. This is not my stance either for or against the war (though I do support our troops and believe that if we couldn't help we woudln't be there) it was merely an observation.

Countdowns

10 days until I leave for vacation in Toronto. I'm very stoked for this trip. I've never been to Toronto and our hotel has a waterslide indoors! Woo! Plus it'll be just Andrew and I which should be fun. I'm looking forward to strong booze, duty free airport shopping, Tim Horton's donuts and my dollars being able to go farther! w00t! I am however, not looking forward to having to fly. I hate flying. Aside from just being scared, my sinuses have really been bothering me (I know you *all* needed to know that) and the cabin pressure is prolly gonna make me want to die.

48 days until my birthday *yayayayyay* I'll be the big 2-3. Oooh, how utterly uneventful. However I'm looking forward to spending the day at the spa being pampered and dinner with friends and family and a bar crawl earlier that weekend to commemorate the greatness that is me.

52.5 days until I leave this awful job for good! No more bullshit customers, no more shitty sewer project (no pun intended), no more Outcome based budgeting. Its a dream come true. I'm starting to already have the nightmares of getting phone calls from customers. However, in preparation of my departure I've cut my workload in half and doubled my productivity. The person I'm training to do my job wants to do everything so they can get accustomed to it, so all my work gets done and I have time to do productive things, like blog or look up outings to go on in Toronto, so its been really helpful in that respect.

I have decided to share the love of the baking bug thats bit me recently so I offer up this deal to you people: if you would like cookies (chocolate chip, sugar or peanut butter) email me your address and I will mail you a dozen cookies free of charge, no strings attached just pick your flavor. All you have to do is be patient because I only bake on weekends so they won't ship until Monday. I know I've promised people things in the past, but I was lazy, but now I am constantly baking and constantly at the post office so you're guranteed to get 'em. I promise they're yummy and all I'd ask is for a little blog love after you get them. I'm a shameless promowhore like that sometimes. **Oh, if I don't get your address in time to bake your cookies this weekend you're going to have to wait until after Memorial day (as I previously stated I'll be in Toronto the weekend after next).**

Weekend Recap

Friday night dinner with my girls (Bex, Stay, Megs & Billy...though he's not a girl, but you get the point). Cruisin' around drinkin' boones in Stay's car like we were 16 again. Funny times, girls, funny times. Headed to the boy's apartment for some forestry and just laughs.

Saturday I chilled around my house, baked some chocolate chip cookies and napped. I saw possibly, the most disturbing porn I've ever seen (Bella Loves Jenna w. Jenna Jameson & Belladonna). I never thought I'd say I was bothered by porn, but this time I really was. And good GOD, Jenna is probably the most amazingly hot person I have ever seen in my life ever. At night Andrew and I went to dinner at F.I.S.H. and yes, though its at the dump, they have amazing ambience, amazing food & deserts and an AMAZING martini selection. My new personal fave is the Flirtini (Stoli Razz, Stoli O, Cranberry Juice, O.J. and champagne. Yum!) and then we picked up Todd to go see VanHelsing. Worst.Movie.Ever. I almost walked out. I was so *amped* for this movie and it sucked such balls its not even worth giving it a review. Fuck!

Sunday Rosie died, which was sad, but once we made arrangements for her everything got a little better. I baked peanut butter cookies and sugar cookies (my own recipe for the sugar cookies...and they were good!) I spent some quality time with my mommy and then my brother and I took her out for a delightful dinner at Ruth's Chris so that was pretty slammin'. I slept at my *own* house for the first time in weeks. I have to say: I miss my bed its so comfy and squishy and soft, damn it.

All this baking I've been doing lately has prompted me to want to hone my craft. Who knows maybe I'll open a quaint little bakery portion of things to go with me & Lisa's "top secret business plan" that we let go by the wayside. That could be cool.

Meh...

Today my cat, Rosie, died. This is sad and a bummer in and of itsself, but last Saturday my dog, Buddy, (the one we adopted back in August) had to get put to sleep because he had lymphosarcoma. Not a really great last week by any standards. We had 2 dogs and 6 cats and they're all around the same age and yes, thankfully all of them are very old, meaning we've spent the large part of my youth/teenage years/ young adulthood with them, but now they're all kind of dying off at once and its indeed very sad. )c:

1. Cincodemayo

2.David Cross



3.Superman

1. Its May 5th it means its Cinco F'N Demayo im not sure why or what it means i coudl look it up but i do liek to sing a song about it it goes a little somehtign like this
"cinco cinco cino de mayo cinco cinco do do do"

2. David Crosses New Comedy Album "It's not Funny" Is Out Someone Buy it for me or I'll jsut have ot buy it my self but I do like gifts why cant it jsut be on Itunes YOU SHOULD BUY IT

3. I said id bring up Superman or Iron man how about bolth
cause iv been reading the JLA Avengers Cross over Comic its pretty damm good i was cusrious about it im glad we picked it up we have 3 of the 4 jsut gotta get the last one and whamo got a compleat story

some one talk abotu comics i got a fever for some comic talk

Sell Out With Me Tonight...

Oh, childrens! Say it ain't so? Did we sell out and bring back ads? No, not really. We're an affiliate w. one group of people and one group only: Neighborhoodies. They make these really bitchin' totally personalized and SLAMMIN' quality items. Hoodies, bags, tees, undies, doggie gear. They're awesome. They make awesome gifts and when I get around to stop being lazy I'll get a pic up here of me rockin' mine. Check it out the possibilites are endless!

oh no no no no no

the link above is ot a site called Death of Batman
for some reason some one decided to make a fan batman movie where some werid stuff happens

1. The Drug Addict captures Batman by electrocuting him in the testicles with a taser

2. Batman is fed Heroin to his eyeballs

3. Batman is BUTT-FUCKED by the addict

4. Batman kills himself, feeling guilty about what he did to the poor guy, and allows himself to..get this...O.D on Heroin, and...is buried in his full coustume


so horible is it more horible that this isn't the first independant batman movie i've watched

anyone else (probly Just Jon) seen the one where batman fights the joker then Alien then the Predator somes out or the other way around it's been a while that was pretty cool yet dorky yet cool again

also any one see pictures of the new batman movie seams fishy
Batman Batman Batman
okay tomarrow ill talk about Superman or posibly Iron Man who knows im wild

...

You are strong and beautiful and funny and amazing and you are so much better than this. You will rise from this like a phoenix, twice as strong and twice as beautiful and expotentially more amazing and wise. You are someone who breathes life into every place they go and you are cheerful and selfless and someone who would do anything for anyone if you were capable of doing it. This isn't you and though you've had to retract for fear of words like barbs and daggers tearing at your heart, I know somewhere, you're in there still deep down. Just your smile can light the way back for you. Please don't forget to smile. I love you. xoxo

My Sides Hurt From Laughing


Me & Bex Out On The Town. <3 This Girl! (Unrelated to this post, but cute!)

Wow, what a great weekend. Friday night I went out for dinner with Bill, Megan & Todd. We had a great time, some yummy food and just laughed like it was our job. Megan, Billy and I went to Todd & Andrew's game and they won so yay, but we also had a lot of fun mocking people and all the lil "tween queens" who were there at the rink on dates getting dumped. We headed home for what ended up being a relatively early night.

Saturday was absofreakin'loutely gorgeous! Andrew and I had a yummy lunch at Roly Poly, and I got bit by the baking bug. So while the boy and Todd stayed indoors playing video games all day I baked peanut butter chip brownies for the boy, and homemade chocolate chip cookies for the house. (I'm not too bad at the whole domestic thing if I *do* say so myself!) After their game was over we headed to the theatre to see Kill Bill 2. Wow. Just awesomeness there. If you haven't seen it: go see it! If you've seen it: go see it again, damn it! We visited crazy Japanese cult leader, Adam, and then participated in some interesting forestry activities. Todd and Andrew are probably the 2 of the funniest people ever and the night was just nothing but absolutely side-splitting laughs to the point where my abs are sore today from it. Hahah. (Dominoes will deliver...Even to here??...Insert birdhead gestures here) We watched Andrew's secret girlfriend, Linsday Loughin, host SNL and while the over all show wasn't extremely funny, the skit w. Amy Pohler and Lindsay's sleep over (Rick.rick.rick.rick) was fucking hysterical, I haven't laughed that hard at SNL in a long time and I was just in tears. Cheesy bread from Dominoes saved the night and we headed off to bed.

Sunday was bacon, egg & cheese day, and veg around the house. Watched Sum of All Fears and the Flyers disgusting annihilation of the Maple Leafs (yes, I realize "leaves" is the proper plural of leaf, but in the NHL its the "leafs"). I went home and worked on my mom's Mother's Day present (don't forget children, May 9th...this sunday!!) I think that about does it, but I want to thank Andrew, Todd, Megan and Billy for another great weekend. Catch ya on the flip side kids!